One thing I have noticed, ever since we found out I was pregnant, is no matter how far along I am, I would always have some kinds of worries. First, once I made it to past the 1st trimester and heard the heartbeat I was excited and grateful. But the worries don't stop there. In the 2nd trimester I was always wondering if our baby is okay since the baby's kicks weren't consistent. I would look forward to every appointment to just hear the quick little heartbeat. All screenings came back negative, and our baby is growing the way it should.
Now today, I am officially 3 months away from our due date and in the 3rd trimester. Right now our baby has an 85% chance of survival if it were to be born today. You would think I wouldn't worry? Wrong. I find that as the baby gets closer the more anxious I get, and excited I feel. I will be starting my 2 week appointments now, so I get to hear the little one's heartbeat more often!
I think it is only the motherly instinct to worry, considering I hear/read horror stories of children who didn't make it or a baby that quit developing, etc. I don't always feel the consistent kicks which makes me worry. This past week I failed a screening and have to take a new test on Thursday. My blood pressure went up a little so we have to keep an eye on that. It has been a little bit of a rough week. I try not to worry, and I don't worry 24/7 ...But honestly, I find alot of peace knowing that God has a plan, and its in his hands. Josh and I both pray for our child every night.
...so where does John 9 come in?
The past couple of weeks at church, our preacher had begun talking about John 9, and the blind man who was healed. (If you want to hear the sermons go to First Reformed Church Sioux Center . The sermons are called "I was blind but now I see" and "Look before you label")
The first 3 verses of that chapter have really made sense in my life right now. It states:
"As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."
It makes me realize that God has a purpose for me, our child, and whatever happens. Why should I worry when I know its up to God? It is reasurring that, if anything were to go wrong, it wasn't because I sinned, or deserved it. ...God is just working in our life and our baby's life.
So really, I ask myself, why worry? God has a plan for us. God has a plan for our child. It is in his hands, and I 100% believe that.
....and a little kick just now lets me know everything is okay :)
2 comments:
"It is reasurring that, if anything were to go wrong, it wasn't because I sinned, or deserved it."
You'd be surprised how many people don't believe that. Or at least don't realize they don't believe that. I had so many comments from people about how it "wasn't the right time" or "maybe you're just not ready". As if our situation were punishment for something. I don't think God would create a life and then take it as a form of punishment.
I'm glad you're in a place in your relationship with Him where you will be able to get through any complications that may rise in the next few months and know that you are LOVED, not chastised.
What an encouraging post Brit. Thank you so much for sharing, it really does give me a new perspective on things as we work through this pregnancy (and all the trials we had to get here). Hope all continues to go well with you and know that you, Josh, and Baby Van Aartsen are in my prayers.
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