The Past Week

I know I've been absent for a while, and I fully planned on updating this blog, but some things have happened this past week that I just can't get passed, and I can't pretend to be positive and upbeat, when honestly, that's not the case. I usually don't use this space to vent or spell out my problems, but there have just been some not-so-good things going on! But first, I will start out what we have been up to the past couple of weeks!

• The Good: We decorated for Christmas during the ice storm the past weekend. Honestly, it was one of the best weekends I have had in a while. We spent time as a family decorating and slow dancing together (yes, we did that) to Christmas music. Macyn LOVED it! Its not so bad being iced in when you can spend it with people you love!

• The Bad: We had to bring the car in to get aligned (under $100) on Tuesday and found out there was much more wrong with it than we thought. Needed 4 new parts and 2 new tires. Not so happy with a bill $500 plus. It wouldn't have been a huge deal, but we are still working out tweaks in our budget, and only had about 1/2 of that amount in our "car repair" budget.

• The Good: I had a 5 day weekend! Wednesday off, Thursday for Thanksgiving, Friday off, and Saturday/Sunday. Monday will also be the last Monday I will work in 2011. I will be taking all Mondays off the month of December and spending the extra day with Macyn.

• The Good: I spent Wednesday doing a whole bunch of errands and getting all the Christmas cards labeled and stuffed, ready to be sent out. They will be coming to a mailbox near you!

• The Good: Thursday we were thankful for a great Thanksgiving! We slept in, had brunch for lunch - egg bake, chocolate chip pancakes, cinnamon rolls and mimosas! After lunch we played outside and took naps. We then went to another Thanksgiving at night, and then it was off to Black Friday at Walmart! Macyn spent the night with her grandparents.

• The Bad: While we were eating lunch on Thanksgiving, I noticed something odd about Macyn. I discovered a very large lump on her neck. Its about .75" to 1" diameter and hard. I called the hospital to see if urgent care was open on Thanksgiving, and they weren't. I decided to wait until morning and get her into the clinic ASAP.

• The Bad: Since Walmart was having deals at 10:00, we went over about 9:45 and had to park in another business's parking lot! The store was absolutely crazy. And I felt crazy going there, but I figured others must have felt the same way. 

• The Good: I got some good deals once the craziness calmed down. We also sat in line for a laptop for my FIL that went on sale at midnight. I was shocked we actually got one! We picked up a few other things and finally left the store at 1:00 AM.

• The Good: On Friday morning I woke up before 8, even though I went to bed late after shopping, and got an appointment for Macyn regarding the lump on her neck.The doctor isn't sure what this lump is, and is hoping it is just an infection and prescribed an antibiotic. However, she was going to contact the Ear, Nose, & Throat specialist to let him know, and I have a follow up appointment on Friday to make sure the antibiotic has made the lump shrink.

• The Bad: It is strange she has this giant lump on her lymph node, without her being sick. She has the occasional runny nose, but no fever or anything to indicate something is wrong with her. If the lump doesn't shrink, we will have to go to a specialist. The part that worries me the most, is the doctor used terms such as, "not normal, unusual, huge, odd." Its only day 2 on the antibiotic, and it hasn't shrunk at all yet. And quite frankly, the more I look up information on this on the internet, the more and more scared I get that it could be something more serious.

• The Discouraging Part: As I work on our budget for the next couple of months, I have no idea how we will pay for anything. A large medical bill for ear tube surgery will be coming next month, the large bill for our car, and now this lump in Macyn's neck. Christmas is here, but I guess I will have to sacrifice gifts this year. I would normally have quite a bit saved up in an emergency fund, but we had to use that when DH didn't get paid for an entire month. So not much is built back up yet. Like I said, I don't like complaining about things, especially finances, because I feel extremely fortunate for both DH and I to have good jobs in this economy. I also feel fortunate, because there are people who live like this all the time.... and give up Christmas presents year after year.

• The Challenge: I have been praying about what I should be doing, and how I can get closer to God. I have gotten a feeling that if I get a bonus this year, I should give half to the church. So it makes me wonder, is God testing me to see if I fully trust him, even though I have mounds of bills to pay, and I don't see a way out of the red? He knows I need that money to stay afloat, but seriously, how do you tell God, "No, I need to pay these bills?" I can't be selfish. I need to trust to do what he tells me...and I know he will take care of me.

Sorry for all these emotions in this post. I wanted to update you with whats going on, and why I haven't been blogging lately. I have to be in the right mood do it, and these past few days, it has been a little more hard to be upbeat! I'm more worried about Macyn than I am anything....just praying this lump isn't anything serious.

On a side note: I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with our families. I am thankful for being able to spend it with them. I do not take that for granted, at all!