Little Moments

I don't know how to say this, or where to start, but I have a greater appreciation and love for my child today. Life changes fast. Don't take things for granted. Last week Wednesday I had learned that our friend's baby died at the tender age of 4 months. I was shocked, I cried, and there were no words to express to the family besides my heart physically ached for them. Five days earlier we had supper together. I held Reegan and tried making him laugh. Macyn held Reegan, and fed him his bottle. Josh held Reegan, while eating his food. He was perfect, a happy baby. I would have never imagined that five days later he would be going to heaven.

We attended the funeral and I'm not going to lie when I say how hard it was to see Reegan's family. I felt no words could console them. We just hugged through the tears, with Reegan's mom saying, "I just don't understand." Reegan's dad said, "I know the last words I said to him were I love you buddy, see you later."

I don't understand either, except that someday everything will make sense. With that being said, when I look at Macyn I am reminded how blessed I am to have her. Even though some days can be quite difficult, I love everything about her. I am blessed to have these babies in my tummy as well. Every kick I appreciate, and I don't complain about being pregnant. Reegan was the 4th baby that has died since the beginning of the year. My cousin had a stillborn at 28 weeks, a neighbor a few blocks up the street lost her twin girls a few hours after birth, and now Reegan, who just went down for a nap not to wake up, is in heaven.

It's scary, and makes a paranoid mama even more nervous, but its truly in God's hands. A quote I love is "Let your faith be bigger than your fear." I try not to take these little moments with Macyn, my family, and the twins for granted. Life can change in a blink of an eye.