God's Plans

As I sit at my computer looking for verses for Baptism, I can't help but reflect on how meaningful some of these have been through the past few months. One of my favorite stories in the Bible comes from John 9. It was about a man that had been born blind. I actually wrote about this story when I was pregnant with Macyn. You can read the whole post here. Here is the excerpt from this post that really hits home for me:

"The first 3 verses of that chapter have really made sense in my life right now. It states:

"As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

It makes me realize that God has a purpose for me, our child, and whatever happens. Why should I worry when I know its up to God? It is reasurring that, if anything were to go wrong, it wasn't because I sinned, or deserved it. ...God is just working in our life and our baby's life.

So really, I ask myself, why worry? God has a plan for us. God has a plan for our child. It is in his hands, and I 100% believe that."

Its amazing that something I wrote over three years ago has just as much relevance as today. Its AMAZING how much we have seen God work in our kids' lives...especially these past few months. There are no coincidences, but just God's perfect timing and plans for our lives. I have struggled with guilt and failure with this past pregnancy. I know nothing that happened with the twins was my fault, but its still hard to accept that. But reading this story it is a good reminder that the things that had happened with my pregnancy was not because of anything I did wrong. And as for God doing work in our twins' lives? HECK YES! They would not be here if God didn't show his amazing faithfulness to us! Nothing went according to our plan, but everything went perfectly for His plan.

I never planned on having preemies, I never planned on having twins, I never planned financially for this, I never planned on crying out to the Lord on the operating table for the safety of our girls. At that moment nothing else mattered.  

“We make our own plans, but the Lord decides where we will go.” Proverbs 16:9 (CEV)

I remember crying, and praying, I just kept saying, "Lord, please don't take my girls from me." (or something to that extent). The next few hours seemed like an eternity before I could see the girls. When I saw them both, hooked up to all these machines, multiple doctors, both not breathing on their own, but rather with ventilators, all I could say was, "thank you." They were in critical condition, but at that moment, I didn't care. They were alive. They were two of the most beautiful things I have seen. And I said, "Thank you." The progress they made within the first week alone was nothing short of a miracle.

"said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

All I can say was, God was working - according to his plans and not ours. And what awesome plans those were. The right people, doctors, nurses, appointments, weather conditions all at the right time for our miracles to be born. We are not out of the woods 100% yet with the girls' health but these stories and verses are a good reminder - it's HIS  plan!

I will wrap up this post with a song that hits home for both myself and for our girls:

He Knows My Name

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
before even time began
my life was in his hands

He knows my name,
He knows my every thought,
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call

I have a father
He calls me his own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name,
He knows my every thought,
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call